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Bookmark this and enjoy the Internets again

With my new web log (http://ericbroder.wordpress.com), I am going to revolutionize the world of ... um ... bloggery. Each and every day I will read the entire Internet to cull the wheat from the chaff, and supply you with fascinating links, as well as my own profound thoughts, in a way that will go down like buttah. Throw out all the other blogs you currently read; just toss all those worthless bookmarks into the garbage. This sucker will be all you need.

Here's how I envision the Indoors blog will read as I keep adding posts.

American Idol fans seem to idolize (ha!) Simon, but I find him to be far too mild-mannered and nice. If only I could replace Simon at the judges' table during auditions ...

Randy Jackson: What you got for us, dawg?

Contestant: I'm going to sing Whitney's "I'll Always Love You."

Indoors (wincing): Oh GOD.

Contestant screeches the song as Randy and Paula look on politely, and I cover my ears with my hands.

Randy: Dawg, it was a little pitchy ... can't do it, sorry, man.

Paula: Uh ... I don't know ... ummmm ... the song is ... very emotional ...

Indoors (turning to Paula): So very eloquent as per usual, Paula. Are you pleasuring yourself under the table? Is that why you can't get the words out? What you mean to say to the singer is this: DIE. Go. To. Hell. Get out of our sight this instant. Release the hounds!

Randy: Aw, don't do him like that, dawg.

Indoors: Silence, you contemptible worm.

Comments

Dog, don't be hatin' on Randy, he's the best thing on Idle. - Randyfan07

Is the contestent a boy or a gurl? - Tina

Awesome! ROFLMAO! - Beezer265

More on David Caruso

This youtube video montage of David Caruso removing his sunglasses and murmuring like an imbecile is making the rounds, and once again, I have to say: David Caruso thinks mighty highly of himself as one sexy beast for no discernable reason.

Comments

Dog, don't be hatin' on David Caruso, he's the best thing on CSI. -HoratioFan07

Yeh, and what about Wm. Peterson? He sux too. I'd do Margie Heglenburger and Emily Procter tho - Gino

Perhaps you should put yourself out there on the line as other courageous, talented people do every day, and see what a deeply gifted actor must go through before casting aspersions. - DavidC

The cat Dizzy's photo gallery

Presented by unpopular demand! See her sleeping, eating, walking around, hiding under a rug, clawing the furniture and vomiting. Prepare to go "awwwww!"

Comments

Awwwwwww! - EB

What ails that animal? Cat looks like it got rabies or some shit. - Daryl03

That cat's still around? Holy hell. - DebbieG

Take me out to the bawl game

As the 2007 MLB season gets underway, here's an interesting piece by Horace Weiner claiming there is more crying in baseball than fans suspect. He says Derek Jeter and Jason Giambi lead the Yankees in a group cry before every game ... and there are puppet shows.

Comments

What a bunch of bs, yanks don't cry like women, weiner's a weenie - Gino

ROFLMAO! LOL! Yankees suck! - Schill04

The face of our Acorn-American friends

Our squirrel pals are particularly active this time of year, and I've put together a mug book of squirrels from different parts of the country. I think you'll find the variety fascinating ...

Comments

Very nice ... I've drawn targets over each and every one. BLAM-O! Heh heh - StreetRatKiller

What the hell is the matter with you, anyway? - Phil83

E-mail: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ; Blog (really): http:ericbroder.wordpress.com

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