 Children have a way of taking over the world we live in. For example, six years ago when we looked at the house we currently own, my wife was excited about the idea of relaxing in the large garden tub in the master bathroom. I don’t think she ever imagined it would turn into a monster truck water park racetrack.
We also never envisioned our child would be the one to punch, kick, and scream at the doctor’s office. I think he was honing his battle skills for future entanglements. When he was about fifteen months old he decided that it was time to turn the doctor’s office into a WWF match. He had been poked and prodded long enough and it was time to fight back! The nurse would come at him with the ear thermometer and if she were not holding on tight he would smack it right out of her hand. After my wife and I would hold his arms and legs while the doctor and nurses did the examinations and shots – without wearing armor, helmets, or earplugs mind you – he would refuse the Spiderman or Batman sticker with a fiery, “NO! I don’t want a sticker!”
A sticker was not going to make up for the torture. Bribing him with ice cream at 3 1/2 years old finally would. His hard work on the battlefield paid off and I’m sure eventually he will demand cash. We’re raising an extortionist.
He now randomly puts the stickers from the doctor on the window next to his car seat in my truck. He knows the Virgo in me wants to peel them off and at least line them up straight. I decided not to fight that battle and gave in to his creative sticker positioning skills. I won’t let him break me down that easily.
Giving in to their demands can sometimes be a good thing. Like when our son really wants to watch his “Speed McQueen” movie (Cars) again for the fifteenth straight day. It provides almost two hours of peace and quiet while his sister is napping. Last week when we were iced in it was on three or four times... in one day.
Our baby girl just turned one last week and now will most certainly join forces with her brother when it comes to toppling the parental regime in the house. You can see in her eyes that she is just as rough and tumble as her three-foot counterpart. She has yet to become as opinionated as her brother unless you don’t feed her fast enough or a toy gets taken away from her.
Maybe she will always be the sweet little angel that she is right now. Although, we fully expect her inner warrior will surface one day soon. She’s been watching her brother and taking mental notes for the last twelve months. All she needed was her walking legs to start working so she could participate in the action. That happened about two months ago. The dramatic duo has already perfected synchronized screaming. They both hit the same high-pitch screech (war cry) while chasing me around the house. They sound like two little piglets being stepped on by a Clydesdale horse. I’m thinking of investing in those Bose Acoustic Noise Canceling Headphones. The word “acoustic” in the name makes me think of the soothing James Taylor concert I attended in the 90’s. Sweet Baby James would play over and over in my head if I owned those headphones.
A few things at home my wife and I mostly still control - like when they bathe, eat, and sleep. But I’m not sure how much of a foothold we have left in those territories. Their side smells fresh, gains strength with every meal, and recharges their energy while they snooze. Some days I don’t get a shower, I eat carbs to keep up, and am lucky to get a full night’s rest. Pretty soon they will have us doing their laundry and cleaning up after them. Oh wait, they already do.
We are quickly becoming servants to the throne.
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Quirkee Voices 
