 When I started a blog earlier this year it had been at least 8 years since I had written anything and it was writing assignments in English class at the local community college. I have always enjoyed writing so I decided to pick it up again with a blog about my life as a stay-at-home dad and the lives of my kids for them to read someday. A couple of months later my friend for many years asked if I would write a column for Quirkee about the same thing. Naturally I jumped on the chance and have enjoyed every minute.
Before I started writing again I had never read a single blog. I know what you’re thinking…”How is that possible? Blogs have been around for years now and there are millions of them!” Well, I guess I just never cared to read about the lives of strangers, their problems and opinions, or to look at their vacation photos. I jumped on the bandwagon late. I’m not a maven. I didn’t buy a DVD player when they first came out and were $1,000. I still do not have a plasma flat screen television and probably won’t until I can get a 50” model for $500. I finally got an MP3 player two months ago! It’s not that I’m cheap- I just know if I wait long enough I can get it for a steal. I’m all about the bargain.
When I finally started writing a blog I began reading other people’s blogs. I read mommy blogs, daddy blogs, sports blogs, tech blogs, friend’s blogs, their friend’s blogs, and so on. You start to get sucked into the blogosphere and realize that you are essentially wasting your day away reading about the lives, problems, and opinions of strangers while searching through their vacation photos! Along the way I have come across mommy blogs that include a monthly newsletter with photos of their children documenting their accomplishments and milestones for the previous month. They usually start with “Dear (child’s name here)” and are generally sweet and touching newsletters that tug on your heartstrings like last week when Laura finally came out of her four year vegetative state on General Hospital and Luke was there and they cried because the love was magic again and…
Umm, sorry about that. I got off track. While reading these monthly newsletters I realized that all of the daddy blogs I read don’t have them. Maybe the daddies think they don’t need to document the milestones like mommies do. Maybe I’m not reading the right blogs. So, I have decided to write a newsletter to my kids…Quirkee style! Since I am three years late on my son’s newsletters, I’ll be going back to look at old photos and video to write about his milestones. I’ll include them here at Quirkee from time to time and keep them shorter than the average blogosphere newsletters as those can get long. I’ll start with the first year…
Dear Little Mister (that’s what we called him),
It has been a year of having you around and your mother and I could not be happier. You are by far the best thing that has ever happened to us and every day that goes by is a blessing. When you were 5 weeks old we were napping on the bed and you were lying on my stomach. It was such a treasured moment.
Then you crapped all over me. I always proclaimed that I would never be crapped on but I’m not sure you were in agreement. I ran to the bathroom holding you with my arms outstretched while climbing into the tub screaming, “Ahhhhh! What do I do?” to your mother who was standing in our bedroom laughing at me. She came to my rescue and took your poop covered self from my clutches so I could figure out how to get my shirt off without smearing your bodily fluids all over my face and hair. I’m grateful for her suggestion of rolling it up and pulling it over my head, even if she did stand there and make fun of me for a few minutes before giving me advice.
You spent most of your early days and nights sleeping or eating from the milk bar buffet that Mommy carried around on her chest. You attacked her breasts for 9 months with that hungry grunt and milk would dribble down your face when you ate too fast. Eventually you started eating rice cereal and oatmeal mixed with Mommy’s hooch, but even then you had a hard time keeping it in your mouth.
After many months of letting you sleep in our bed we decided to transition you to your crib. You know, that place where you would take a nap in the morning, afternoon, and evening. It was easier to have you sleep in our bed at night so you could do what they call a “dream feed” where you nurse after falling back asleep. That was all fine and dandy until you also decided to “dream kick” me in the kidneys and “dream ram” your head into my back all night. You were always an active sleeper and that may be why the L5 disc in my lower spine is compressed and pinching a nerve. Probably not, but when I’m really old and in a nursing home I will say that to remind you why you are now changing my diapers.
Love,
Daddy
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Quirkee Voices 
