Oh fried shrimp, let me count the ways. And baked salmon
filets, I could eat you all week long. So you better enjoy your seafood
delights while you can because, apparently, we humans are raping and pillaging
our ocean dweller friends and / or last night's dinner to an untimely demise.
According to an article
on statesman.com, "If current trends of
overfishing and pollution continue, the populations of just about all seafood
face collapse by 2048, a team of ecologists and economists warns in a report in
Friday's issue of the journal Science." Clambakes, crabcakes, and fish
sticks are just some of the endangered species on the chopping block. Also in danger of over-harvesting: fish tacos, linguini and clam sauce, and McDonald's Filet-O-Fish Sandwich. The lead
author of the study, Boris Worm of Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova
Scotia, claims, "At this point 29 percent of fish and seafood species have
collapsed - that is, their catch has declined by 90 percent. It is a very clear
trend, and it is accelerating ... If the long-term trend continues, all fish
and seafood species are projected to collapse within my lifetime - by
2048." I hate to admit it but all this talk about seafood is making me
pretty hungry. I think I'll take my family to Red Lobster this weekend for
All-You-Can-Eat shrimp before there is no more shrimp to be had. Mmm... fried soon-to-be-extinct
shrimp.
According to an article
on news8austin.com,
"The city of Austin recently
decided to send police along with representatives from the Health and
Human
Services department to bust smokers [smoking inside bars] after a
complaint is
made." Those of you from Austin, Texas or other cities that have banned
smoking in public places or places meant to have smokers, like bars,
should be aware of just how ridiculous this whole thing is. Why is it
ridiculous? Well, I'll tell you, my two-pack-a-day chimney smoking
friend. Because the city of Austin claims that the ban on smoking is a
public health issue. Yet, you can go anywhere and buy cigarettes and
cigars and pipes. So if smoking is so bad for you, if these types of
bans on smoking are for health reasons, then why do the cities and
states and the U.S. still sell cigarettes and tobacco? Tax revenue,
that's why. $500 fines for smoking in a bar? Yeah right. Increased
sales tax on cigarettes to support public education? Sounds smart.
Subsidies for tobacco farmers? Keep growing that good stuff, Farmer
Ted. If cigarettes are so bad, then ban them. Don't allow our citizens
to smoke them. But if the government is going to allow you to spend
your money on them, and tax us through the nose for buying them, then
don't tell us where to smoke them, especially at places where smokers
like to go to spend more of their money (and tax dollars).
The
bar owners of Austin have sued the city for two reasons: 1)their
massive loss of business because of the smoking ban and 2)they were
forced to be the smoking police and turn their patrons in. I recently
spoke to a friend of mine who owns two bars on Sixth Street about the
smoking ban. Is he going to enforce the smoking ban? Nope, most of his
customers are smokers. I asked him about opening a bar for non-smokers.
You know what he said? He tried that and it didn't work. Non-smokers
don't drink much alcohol to sustain a bar business. They drink water
and sodas, not beers and liquors. So now his customers are more
inconvenienced than anything, taking a few sips of their cocktails,
then heading outside to smoke. Sounds like the smoking ban is working,
for the health of our city.
You ever wonder why a lot of the bad guys in movies curse God for creating them. Maybe this is why. According to an article on msnbc.com, "A fisherman who found a bag of 300 letters to God - many addressed to a New Jersey minister - floating in the ocean off Atlantic City will give most of them to the late clergyman's daughter." The fisherman had posted them on eBay but stopped the auction after receiving tons of hate letters and nasty phone calls. "I apologize to anyone who was insulted," the fisherman said. "It was never my intention to offend anyone [by posting them on eBay]. I was looking at these more like antiques." You mean, like dollar signs (hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge). The letters included everything from a man asking God to let him win the lottery to a teen asking for forgiveness for an abortion. No one knows why the letters were in the ocean. But the fisherman suspects that someone cleaning out the late New Jersey minister's house may have thrown them out. But I suspect that after God read letter after letter of pleas to win the lottery that He Himself threw them in the ocean. And don't act like you've never prayed for a little extra cash, you self bastards.
And finally, by the time this comes out, the elections will be over and we'll all be regretting who we voted for or we will be cursing whoever now occupies their respective offices. But if there is anything I've heard too much about, it's how no one votes anymore anyway. If you want more people to vote, here's a perfect example of how not to do it. According to an article on cnn.com, "A poll worker was arrested Tuesday and charged with assault and interfering with an election for allegedly choking a voter and pushing the voter out the door." Now that's how you get them out to vote. Choke 'em and throw their asses to the curb! I'm out like Rick Perry (hopefully).
|
Commentary 
(0 vote)
