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This week's award for "The Sleaziest Sleaze Ever" goes to two people: John Mark Karr, the former suspect in the killing of JonBenet Ramsey, who claims he "never confessed to anything," and to Larry King, the decrepit CNN talk show host. Larry King, who scheduled an interview with Karr, must have had a hard time getting celebrities on his show this week. So he pulled the psycho-pervert hat trick, giving this deranged sociopath unnecessary publicity. When King asked why Karr would say he committed the 10-year-old crime, Karr went on to say, "I don't recall ever saying that I did anything, so that's where I'm confused about the question as well ... I never gave a definitive overt yes or no to anything and I never said I did anything." What?! Now, I don't know about you but when I saw Karr state, "I loved JonBenet, and she died accidentally" on the news, I remember telling my wife that if his DNA didn't match, then this guy would be the biggest psycho to ever attach himself to a high-profile murder case. And voilą! His DNA did not match and he became the biggest psycho, ever. So why would Larry King have an obviously deranged psycho on his show? Because pushing the "sleaze button" gets people to watch. And the obviousness of that is why these two get this award. So congrats, Larry and John. You two deserve it.

• Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's Facebook profile has many posts from her Green Party rival, Howie Hawkins, who lists reasons he thinks the New York Democrat should be defeated.
• A Facebook search for "Mike DeWine" turns up the Ohio Republican senator's profile as well as links to several self-organized political groups of Facebook members. One group calls itself "Mike Dewine and (Ohio Rep.) Deborah Pryce are tools," a derisive slang for dupes.
• In an ad only on YouTube and Republican congressional candidate Paul Nelson's campaign website, Nelson says Rep. Ron Kind, D-Wis., voted to fund studies of "the sex lives of Vietnamese prostitutes." Matt Sweeney, Kind's campaign manager, says voters will "see through these kinds of sleaze ads."

According to an article on msnbc.com, "The nation's population officially hit 300 million at 7:46 a.m. EDT Tuesday, when the Census Bureau's population clock rolled over to the big number." Woo-hoo! More jerk-offs to cut you off in five o'clock traffic; more morons to cut the line in front of you at the grocery store; and more ass-wipes to clog the telephone lines when you are trying to be the 101st caller on the morning radio show. Dammit! Life just isn't fair. According to Commerce Secretary Carlos Gutierrez, America's growing population is good for the economy. He noted that Japan and some European countries expect to lose population in the next few decades. "This is one more area where we seem to have an advantage [over foreign countries]." I can see it now in redneck America: Hey honey? Amurrica may be getting stupider than the rest of those foreigners, but we sure know how to get it on. Let's get to breedin'! Great... that's just great.

And finally, here is an example of how heroic your pets can be in times of crisis. According to an article on statesman.com, "After a disabled woman's cat started a house fire, her specially trained dog came to the rescue, then died trying unsuccessfully to rescue the cat." Jamie Hanson, a woman who lost her leg in a car accident, said she fell off the couch and was unable to get her artificial leg from the table, "so my dog got my leg for me and went and got the phone and brought the phone to me so I could call 911." Then the dog ran back in for the cat. But they both died. That story just made me want to... cry. So I wondered to myself, would my cat do the same thing for me? And I quickly realized that fat bastard wouldn't lift a paw to help me. He'd save himself. Damn cat! But look how cute he is! I love you, puss-face-boy! Daddy loves you!

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