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In the News is back! I know you missed it but we were busy with ACL Fest. Quit fretting, news junkies. This week's hot topic: religion. I know, I know. Your mother always said never to talk about religion with friends. But this is funny as hell. According to an article on cnn.com, "[Parents Television Council] issued a statement Wednesday blasting NBC, which airs "VeggieTales," for editing out some references to God from the children's animated show." Now, why is this funny as hell? Because the religious aspect of the VeggieTales is the ENTIRE POINT of the show, that's why. The main characters' tag line, "Remember kids, God made you special and he loves you very much" was quietly cut from the show just before it aired and the show's creator, Phil Vischer, is steamed. "I would have declined partly because I knew a lot of fans would feel like it was a sellout or it was done for money ... VeggieTales is religious, NBC is not." Looks like they made a deal with the devil, now doesn't it?

Is anyone surprised that NBC did this? I'm not. I mean, even my kid's school won't acknowledge Christmas anymore. There is not one reference to Christmas except that school is not in session during the week of Christmas. But you better not say "Merry Christmas." They say "Season's Greetings" instead. Or they call Halloween "Fall Fest." Or a number of other P.C. alternative to religious-themed days in the year. I know, it's all for the children, right? Rrrrrright.

To continue on with the religious theme, here is an example of advertising genius at work. According to an article on cnn.com, "A car commercial proclaiming a jihad on the U.S. auto market and offering "Fatwa Fridays" with free swords for the kids is offensive." The radio advertisement for the Dennis Mitsubishi car dealership in Columbus, Ohio, has "a whole jihad theme," said Adnan Mirza, director of the Columbus office of the Council on American-Islamic Relations. "They are planning on launching a jihad on the automotive market and their representatives would be wearing burqas ... They mentioned the pope in there and also about giving rubber swords out to the kiddies -- really just reprehensible-type comments." What?! They can't declare jihad on the auto industry? The rubber swords for the kiddies is a nice touch but a giant, inflatable Mohammed would be even better. They might as well go all the way with this one.

All right, I'm done with religion. Let's move on to something more interesting: beating the crap out of movie critics. Check this out. According to an article on cnn.com, "Tired of the criticism of his films, controversial German film director Uwe Boll took on four of his critics in a Vancouver boxing ring, and ended each bout with a knockout." Tired of critics bashing his movies, he issued a fight challenge and fifteen responded. And guess what? He kicked their asses! So what did Boll have to say after beating the movie critics / nerds? "I like now the critics," Boll told a news conference. "Everybody who was in the ring showed (guts). Nobody dived. If they write about my movies without even seeing the movies then it's really annoying. If you make a movie like 'House of the Dead,' a zombie movie, what are they expecting? 'Schindler's List'?" Jeff Sneider, a journalist with Ain't It Cool News, went down in a technical knockout in the first round after his trainer threw in the towel. He claimed Boll had told him that the match was just a joke, a public relations stunt. "Then he started beating the crap out of my head ... I think he's a jerk. This might be PR but I don't want to keep getting punched in the head." If you don't like the heat, puny film-critic-man, then stay out of the kitchen. Uwe Boll, you are my hero!

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