In the News is back! I know you missed it but we were busy
with ACL Fest. Quit fretting, news junkies. This week's hot topic: religion. I
know, I know. Your mother always said never to talk about religion with
friends. But this is funny as hell. According to an article
on cnn.com, "[Parents Television Council] issued a statement Wednesday
blasting NBC, which airs "VeggieTales," for editing out some
references to God from the children's animated show." Now, why is this
funny as hell? Because the religious aspect of the VeggieTales is the ENTIRE
POINT of the show, that's why. The main characters' tag line, "Remember
kids, God made you special and he loves you very much" was quietly cut
from the show just before it aired and the show's creator, Phil Vischer, is
steamed. "I would have declined partly because I knew a lot of fans would
feel like it was a sellout or it was done for money ... VeggieTales is religious,
NBC is not." Looks like they made a deal with the devil, now doesn't it?
Is anyone surprised that NBC did this? I'm not. I mean, even
my kid's school won't acknowledge Christmas anymore. There is not one reference
to Christmas except that school is not in session during the week of Christmas.
But you better not say "Merry Christmas." They say "Season's
Greetings" instead. Or they call Halloween "Fall Fest." Or a
number of other P.C. alternative to religious-themed days in the year. I know,
it's all for the children, right? Rrrrrright.
Speaking of religion, our ex-Nazi, current Pope has enraged
Muslims all around the world. On September 12th, the Pope quoted Byzantine
emperor Manuel II Paleologus by saying, "Show me just what Mohammed
brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman,
such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." Whoops!
Now all the Muslims are pissed. But, according to an article
on cnn.com, "Pope Benedict XVI expressed "total and profound
respect for all Muslims" at a meeting Monday with ambassadors from Muslim
nations and other Islamic leaders." The Holy Father inserted the Holy Foot
into his Holy Mouth. Did he not learn anything from the whole Mohammed
cartoon-thing that enraged the entire Muslim world recently? These guys are
serious, Pontiff. Even Cat Stevens is upset.
To continue on with the religious theme, here is an example of advertising genius at work. According to an article on cnn.com, "A car commercial proclaiming a jihad on the U.S. auto market and offering "Fatwa Fridays" with free swords for the kids is offensive." The radio advertisement for the Dennis Mitsubishi car dealership in
Columbus, Ohio, has "a whole jihad theme," said Adnan Mirza, director
of the Columbus office of the Council on American-Islamic Relations. "They
are planning on launching a jihad on the automotive market and their
representatives would be wearing burqas ... They
mentioned the pope in there and also about giving rubber swords out to
the kiddies -- really just reprehensible-type comments." What?! They can't declare jihad on the auto industry? The rubber swords for the kiddies is a nice touch but a giant, inflatable Mohammed would be even better. They might as well go all the way with this one.
All right, I'm done with religion. Let's move on to something more
interesting: beating the crap out of movie critics. Check this out. According
to an article
on cnn.com, "Tired of the criticism of his films, controversial German
film director Uwe Boll took on four of his critics in a Vancouver
boxing ring, and ended each bout with a knockout." Tired of critics
bashing his movies, he issued a fight challenge and fifteen responded. And
guess what? He kicked their asses! So what did Boll have to say after beating
the movie critics / nerds? "I like now the critics," Boll told a news
conference. "Everybody who was in the ring showed (guts). Nobody dived. If
they write about my movies without even seeing the movies then it's really
annoying. If you make a movie like 'House of the Dead,' a zombie movie, what
are they expecting? 'Schindler's List'?" Jeff Sneider, a journalist with
Ain't It Cool News, went down in a technical knockout in the first round after
his trainer threw in the towel. He claimed Boll had told him that the match was
just a joke, a public relations stunt. "Then he started beating the crap
out of my head ... I think he's a jerk. This might be PR but I don't want to
keep getting punched in the head." If you don't like the heat, puny film-critic-man,
then stay out of the kitchen. Uwe Boll, you are my hero!
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