 Adam walked
into the party after my third glass of merlot. He is probably the only man in
my school who I've literally lusted over since day one. A former west-coast quarterback
for a major university, he possesses the unique combination of athletic skill
and intelligence. As he entered the room, all my girlfriends seemed to stand a
little taller, laugh a little louder, and secretly check their reflection in
windows and mirrors.
Lucky for
me, I was standing by the bar (no surprise there). When Adam came over to get a
drink, we struck up a conversation. He told me he was newly single and was
hoping I would be at the party. It was a "line" if I ever heard one, but I was
definitely in the mood to play. After another glass of wine, we were flirting
shamelessly. He put his arms around my waist, clasping his hands on the small
of my back, and then leaned back to continue our conversation. I was smitten.
The
conversation somehow turned to religion. I cannot remember for the life of me
how that happened. I should have broken away immediately and run for the door.
Like my mother always says, no good can come from conversations about religion
or politics. Mom's concerns are based on the fear that arguments will erupt
between friends. My fears are a little different. I worry that an attractive
man will reveal his conservative right-wing tendencies, try to "save" me, or
proudly display his NRA membership card - each of which would cause me to run away
screaming.
When Adam
mentioned that he was Catholic, I giggled and shamelessly asked, "Well, you
believe in contraception don't you?" I thought the comment would get at least a
conspiratorial smile. I wasn't prepared for his honest answer to that question.
"No, I don't," he stated firmly. So, now I was pissed. (Who the hell does this
guy think he is? Does he truly expect women in the twenty-first century to be
with a man who doesn't believe in condoms?) Adam read the confusion in my face
and continued, "But it's not really a problem, since I don't believe in sex
before marriage anyway... I'm a virgin." I literally began to choke on my wine
and spilled it down the front of my blouse.
Adam
grabbed a towel and began to wipe off the front of my shirt, keeping his hand
on my breasts for much longer than necessary. I should have walked away
immediately, but I was still in total shock. A 34-year-old virgin? How can such
a handsome, accomplished man be a virgin? I immediately began to wonder what
was wrong with him. Then, it occurred to me - what was wrong with ME? Why
shouldn't I be impressed with someone who has such religious convictions to
save his sexual self for his future wife?
Before I
could totally scold myself for my initial reaction, Adam talked himself back
out of my good graces. He confidently explained that his religion doesn't
permit him to have intercourse before marriage, but everything else is fair
play. He said he enjoyed oral sex and would "let" me give him a blow job any
time I wanted. Of course, since a woman's vagina was a holy vessel of God, he
was unable to reciprocate in any way.
Isn't it
nice to know there are still good, Christian boys out there?
|
Adventures in Dating 
