 When I
first considered doing a Sex-in-the-City-style
column for Quirkee, my then boyfriend scoffed at the idea. He feared what I
would say about him-with very, very good reason. Since that relationship
recently disintegrated, I am now free to write about my single life as a
30-something in Austin. It's been a
while since I've been single, so I am starting over with a clean slate-or at
least clean sheets.
A few days
after my recent breakup, I went out with "Greg," who I've known for about a
year. We go to school together, so I occasionally see him in the hallway or
library. He and I are both classified as "non-traditional," meaning we are at
least 10 years older than most of the other students. On more than one
occasion, we've sat down for a cup of coffee or sandwich to discuss school,
current events, and life in general. Although we've never done anything
socially, I've learned quite a bit about his parents, siblings, and background.
He knows about my recent divorce, cross-country move, and career change.
Greg spent
the summer in Africa, where he studied and traveled. I
received several emails from him with photos of his safari adventures, mountain
climbing trips, and other excursions. In each email he wrote, "I look forward
to seeing you when I get back to Austin,"
or "I can't wait to get together when I get back." Last week, he emailed to say
he was back in town and invited me to dinner. I wasn't completely sure I was
interested, so I countered with an invitation to get coffee near campus. He
agreed and we met at a local coffee shop at 11
a.m.
When I arrived,
Greg was already there. He gave me a long hug and a brief kiss as I sat down.
We chatted comfortably as he showed me additional Africa
photos. I wasn't feeling any real physical attraction, but I was definitely
intrigued by his opinions and views on world events. He was very flirtatious
and placed his hand on my leg for long intervals during our discussion. Almost
two hours and two coffees later, we got up to leave. He walked me to my car,
where we stood in the heat and talked some more.
"I am going
to take the dog to Barton Springs tomorrow, if you are interested in going. How
about swimming and a few margaritas?" he said.
"Oh, I
didn't know you had a dog," I said.
"Yeah-a
yellow lab. He goes everywhere with me. I finally found a big house with a big
yard, so he is comfortable," he said. He talked about his recent house hunt and
mentioned it was difficult to find a four-bedroom house in central Austin.
"Four
bedrooms? Do you have roommates?" I asked.
Silence.
"Um...I'm
married," he mumbled, "I thought you knew..."
"Married?" I
asked, unable to stifle an uncomfortable giggle. "Do you have kids?"
"Um, yeah.
They're five and seven."
What the
fuck? I know it's been a while since I've been single, but is marital status a
necessary inquiry before accepting a date? Or was this a date? If this was just
an attempt to develop our friendship, why did he fail (for 12 months) to
mention his wife and kids? And what kind of man is spending three months
playing in Africa when his wife and kids are in Austin?
Needless to say, I left quickly and haven't returned his phone calls.
So begins
my journey into the Austin dating
scene. It can only get better from here... right?
|
Adventures in Dating 
