It's Thanksgiving week and you know what that means - a rush at your local pharmacy as anxious people refill their Prozac prescriptions so they can get through another family get-together. Not to mention overworked emergency room doctors and nurses trying to keep up as the rate of undercooked turkey-related salmonella poisoning reaches epidemic proportions. And, my personal favorite, a battery of commercials letting us know that all the local stores will be opening at 4 a.m. for day-after-Thanksgiving shopping! Woo-hoo, I can hardly wait.

I know stores always open early on the biggest shopping day of the year, but 4 a.m.? There used be a time long ago when I was willing to stay up until 4 a.m. if the music and company were good, but never have I intentionally gotten up for anything that early. Not even to wait in line for tickets to a Don Henley concert, and really, that's about the only thing that would have done it for me.

It's not that I don't understand the psychology of wee-hours-of-the-morning shopping. Especially in this tough economic climate. ("Honey, should we get your mom these slippers or should we pay to have the electricity turned back on until the turkey's done?") Retailers are relying on the fact that most people aren't fully awake that early no matter how grande the Starbucks they gulped down on the way. And when your brain isn't fully-functional, you're bound to make stupid mistakes, like buying a mechanical Santa that dances to "Get Your Rocks Off, Baby."

It's the same principal you see play out in bars late at night (or so I've heard). It's dark outside and you're not thinking straight. You've been there a few hours and you really don't want to go home empty-handed, so you get desperate and grab for anything. Especially if you've been downing beer or stuffing your face with free chocolate many stores give out as an additional enticement to get you to stick around. In both cases, you're very likely to take something home you normally wouldn't and then wake up the next morning and wonder what the hell you were thinking.

And in both cases, there's someone there to help you make poor choices. Bars have bartenders who listen to your sob stories about your lousy job and your ungrateful kids while pouring you drinks. During the holidays, stores have cashiers who will gladly stand there while you explain that Aunt Helga has hated everything you've ever given so this time you want to make sure you spend enough money to get it right. They're enablers is what they are.

I'm not saying don't buy anything for the holidays. That would make me an unpatriotic scrooge (don't hate me because I did all my holiday shopping at garage sales in July). But maybe you should at least wait until noon or whenever you finally wake up from the tryptophan coma you fell into after downing turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, and that weird cranberry concoction no one else was willing to try. Sure you may miss out on a bargain or two, but you're a lot less likely to hate yourself the next day when you find yourself surrounded by bags full of Chia Pets, Salad Shooters and musical nose hair trimmers.

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