 I’ve been working at home for about two years now, running a business on eBay. I love it because I am in control of my day. Well, sort of. I’m in control of what I can do during their naptime or school time. Not many dads are in my position and some would probably not want to be. Some dads can’t handle changing diapers, doing puzzles, listening to Chicken Dance Elmo over and over, or cleaning up baby barf all day. They are crazy. It’s fun! Besides, I can pretty much do anything I want and the boss won’t care, because I am the boss. That is part of the glory of being a work-at-home dad. Here are some other perks of the job...
I watch soap operas. It’s true. Not all of them, just General Hospital. Okay, sometimes One Life to Live. They just happen to be on at the same time the kids are napping, and that is when I can change it from PBS or Nick Jr. Yes, I get made fun of, but I can’t help it. I’ve been hooked ever since I was a kid. My sister and mother would watch them in the summer while school was out. That was a downside of not having a brother to beat the crap out of me. When I was in my twenties and we all worked at night, some of my guy roommates would watch them, too. I won’t mention their names because they would just deny it.
It’s not just soaps on TV during naptime. I’ll watch any golf tournament, tennis match, poker series, or whatever else might be showing on the sports channels during the day. It may sound like I’m a couch potato, but I’m not. I put a mirror in the window behind my desk so I don’t have to turn around to see the television while I work. The reflection of it is right next to the computer screen. I know you wish you had thought of that one. Since moving my office downstairs to the back living room, I am now fifteen feet from the refrigerator. A tasty sandwich or a frosty root beer is within reach at all times. Smoothies, too. We love to make smoothies after naptime.
Sometimes I like to just sit and stare out the window wondering what life is like for that squirrel in the tree staring back at me. My son likes to name the animals he sees and the squirrel is named Crunchy. He looks at me like he’s saying, “Hey buddy, it’s hot out here! You got any nuts in that kitchen? I can’t seem to find any these days. Maybe a root beer, too? And can you do something about this dog that barks at me all the time?”
I sell shoes on eBay and most of them are women’s. I watch soaps and I know more about women’s shoes than any man should ever need to know. That is why I try to add some manly things to my day (although, it does take a real man to admit he knows the difference between an espadrille and a mary jane). Once I am caught up on shoe listings and the temperature drops below 105 degrees, I’ll be hitting golf balls in the backyard while grilling myself a steak for lunch! You can't do that in an office.
I love to go to the grocery store. I usually go by myself when my wife gets home from work. It gives me some time alone without my little screamers. Now that our son is back in school, I’ll probably start going in the morning with baby girl and we can pick out fruit together. Mornings are best at the store because it’s not nearly as crowded. The after 5:00 pm people there can be rude and are in too much of a hurry for me. I like to be able to stop at the end of an aisle and peek down it for a few seconds to make sure I am not forgetting something important, like Count Chocula.
Of course, the best perk of the job is getting to spend lots of time with the kids. I hope I don't ever get fired.
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Quirkee Voices 
