 Hollywood
insiders are predicting a flat late-summer at the box office with an extremely
uncertain crop of pictures being released in July and August. Among the
higher-profile-and higher-risk-projects set to be premiered within the next two
months:
Symphony of Fear Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, Macaulay
Culkin, Gene Hackman, Whoopi Goldberg, John Goodman; directed by Sally
Struthers. Schwarzenegger has to keep conducting a symphony orchestra that
will be blown up by Culkin's bomb if Arnold
steps off the podium or the music stops; Hackman, Goldberg, and Goodman play
the strife-ridden percussion section.
Buzz: Insiders say this all-star
orchestra disaster pic, shockingly given to Struthers to direct, is fairly
effective, but preview audience members asked for "bigger dinosaurs," a
troubling sign.
Outlook: Could be "crescendo" b.o. with
poignant breakout performance by Goodman as a sexually-conflicted triangle
player.
Jane Eyre Starring Bridget Fonda, Pauly Shore, Cindy Williams; directed by Vicky Rubinoff. An update of
the 19th-century Charlotte Bronte novel, set in a summer camp in Maine, with an
added twist: hero Rochester is a werewolf battling terrorists who plant bombs
in the cabins, set to be detonated by the odor of suntan lotion. Director
Rubinoff says, "I insisted on a feminist retelling of the Eyre story, making it
very dark, very suggestive; but with plenty of summer fun, like volleyball."
Buzz: Word is that Shore is sensational
as the werewolf Rochester in super-hot Beauty-and-the-Beast seduction scenes
with Eyre (Fonda).
Outlook: Might do decent b.o. with
literary, action and horror crowd.
First A Mountain Starring Richard Gere, Cindy Crawford, Stream Gere, Jedidiah Gere, the
voice of Edgar Buchanan; written, produced and directed by Richard Gere.
Heavy spiritual flick based on the Donovan song "First There Is A Mountain,"
with Gere and Crawford as themselves, in endless conversations with Tibetan
monks (played by Gere's preschool-aged children Jedidiah and Stream). Gere
says, "I opened up the story a bit by driving the monks around in my Lexus
convertible, so the audience can enjoy the sights of Malibu as we discuss the
path to enlightenment." Highlight: the voice of the late Petticoat Junction star Edgar Buchanan uttering Zen proverbs, using
edited tape loops from the corny '60s sitcom.
Buzz: Previews have not been
encouraging, with a 98 percent walkout rate after the first ten minutes, but
Gere tells us he's still working on the final edit. Said one preview audience
member: "I may never see a movie again."
Outlook: Very shaky. Says one Hollywood
wag: "Gere and Crawford could do this baby nude with automatic weapons and it's
still death."
Sing Along With Mitch With Mitch Miller and the Mitch Miller
Singers; directed by Mitch Miller. Feature-length film version of the
popular singalong TV show of the '50s and early '60s. "We will bring the action
up to date with newer rock songs young people will enjoy singing along with,
such as ‘Bad Bad Leroy Brown' and ‘Leaving on A Jet Plane,'" says Miller. "But
of course we'll also sing ‘Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer,' ‘Waitin' for the Robert E. Lee' and ‘Yellow Rose of
Texas' . . . plus a special surprise for our hip-hop friends."
Buzz: Says one industry insider, "I
really, really don't see how this can fly."
Outlook: With Miller and most members
of his chorus in their seventies and even eighties, it's doubtful the film will
reach desirable 26-44 age group demographic-and there haven't been singalong
films since the 1930s. Upside: Miller did own stunts.
Knock Three Times on the Ceiling If You
Want Me, Twice on the Pipes if the Answer is No, starring Tom Selleck, Diana Ross, Halle Berry; directed by Lou Boglio.
Riding on the success of the Tina Turner biopic What's Love Got To Do With It, Selleck, Ross, and Berry
star as Tony Orlando and Dawn in what first-time director and Dawn fan Boglio
says is a "hopefully interesting story of a successful vocal trio who scores
some hits, bickers a little, and then breaks up."
Buzz: Not too good, as Selleck and
Berry completely disassociated themselves from the project during filming,
deliberately screwing up their lip-synching to Orlando and Dawn's original
recordings. Selleck is also seen rolling his eyes and surreptitiously giving
the camera the finger in many scenes. Not encouraging.
Outlook: With unwieldy title and
unenthusiastic cast, success of K.T.T.O.T.C.I.Y.W.M.,T.O.T.P.I.T.A.I.N.
problematic.
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Quirkee Voices 
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