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This will mark my 15th year of doing listings for a weekly publication. Listings, of course, are the things in the tiny type in the middle of the paper telling what's going on that week in music, movies, night clubs, theater, dance, museums and such, and I've been doing them since 1984.

You say, "Why is a busy, high-level executive like yourself, over the age of 40, still doing listings?" That's a very good question. Most executives would assign a functionary to do this kind of grunt work, but I find doing listings keeps me abreast of the city's events-as I should be in my position. I know what's going on, and when it starts. I never go to any of the things I list, of course, but I know all about them. Knowledge is power.

"But what is the essence of doing listings?" you ask. Imparting information in a concise manner. This is what I have mastered. I take the raw material-in this case, press releases from various local agencies and organizations-and compress it with editorial force into the diamond-like final product: listings. I tell you, the reader, what something is, where it is, who to call for further information. This is the Information Age! We're riding the Information Highway! I'm the state patrolman on that highway, to employ yet another metaphor. I'm not there to hunt you down and put you in Lucasville, but to help you-the traffic on the highway-on your way to your desired event.

On a more personal level, there's a Zen to listings. Listings work is a break from those high-level meetings and executive tasks that I perform the rest of the time, like walking around the office and checking up on people. I'm at peace doing listings. For example, each time I'm about to start listings, I play "The Name Game" with them in my head: "listings listings bo bistings, banana nana mo mistings, fee fi fo fistings, listings." That's the kind of positive attitude I have about them.

There's nothing more enjoyable than doing a good listing. My favorite listings category is Classical Music. As I do classical music listings, I imagine myself back in the time of Haydn and Beethoven, or 1763 Paris, wearing a powdered wig, being served a bowl of soup balanced on a silk pillow. Or walking around a castle courtyard. Believe me, I'm not thinking about being a peasant in 1763 and sleeping in a barn with rats. Hey, I'm the one doing the listings, I can daydream what I want.

Doing classical music listings, I can learn composers' names, like Albeniz, Lalliet, Gubaidulina, Schnittke, Ysa˙e, and von Herzogenberg. I have no idea who these people are, but I feel superior knowing their names. I'd be stuck if anyone asked me when these composers lived or even their first names. Their names aren't "Gary" or "Steve," I'm pretty sure about that. But I can say, "The trio will be performing works by Vierne and Catelnuovo-Tedesco," and most people will reply, "Oh, yeah?" and leave it at that.

There's a negative to listings work, of course. Some people complain that their listings aren't correct, which is fine, but some of them have an attitude problem. Listings are free of charge. Just get the information to me in a clear and timely manner, and I'll help you out! Don't act like it's a paid advertisement!

To some of these complainers I'd like to say, "Well, I'll send you your money back." To which they'd have to say, "I didn't send any money." Bingo! I'd say, "I'll solve both our problems and take the listing out." You should hear the whiners wriggle around then. There is no listings "entitlement." That's what you have to understand about listings. But most people are smart. They know not to mess with a listings guy with ten years in.

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