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The Razor scooter, a child's best friend for many years! They go zipping up and down sidewalks, streets, and parking lots looking for places just steep enough for a sweet jump or a fast and smooth ride. Days are spent cruising around the neighborhood picking up friends along the way who are desperate to try that one last trick that they were unable to land the night before. Dinner is ready and all the moms and dads are calling for the return of their kids before the street lights come on. There will always be tomorrow.

As a child I spent most of my youth jumping bikes off of ramps made of plywood and bricks, riding my skateboard off of curbs, steps, and sometimes just straight into the creek. A Razor scooter was not something we had growing up in the 1970's, at least not in my neighborhood. We had Big Wheels, dirt bikes, and skateboards.

Last night there was a Razor scooter accident on our street. It was pretty ugly and thankfully nobody was seriously injured since the person who was hurt was NOT wearing a helmet or pads, and was sporting open-toed sandals. It was a recipe for disaster.

My son's Razor scooter sat there in front of our neighbors' house begging for a rider. Staring at me. After about a minute I couldn't take the pressure of the call it was beckoning so I picked it up, adjusted the handlebars as high as they would go, and spun it around.

"I wonder if I can ride this thing?" I thought to myself as I threw my left foot on the board and headed down the driveway.

I didn't even have the chance to mutter, "OH ****!" after I had cruised six feet down the little slope of their driveway and the scooter hit a crack between the concrete and the asphalt in the street. My body went flying over the handle bars and suddenly I was heading face first into the road! Unable to reverse my course while the asphalt approached in slow-motion, I stuck out my hands in hopes of saving my teeth from being shoved down my throat. It worked.

I smacked the ground pretty hard. It was if I said to my neighbor, "Hey, want to watch me take a flying leap into the street? I'll get a running start here at the bumper of your truck and do my best swan dive!"

Except that would be a stupid idea. Oh, wait...this was a stupid idea. The Razor even warns against things of this nature.

Exercise caution and common sense when riding? Well, that's no fun! Do not ride on sloped area? Huh? That's boring!

When I finally landed my almost perfect 10, I immediately picked my silly ass up off the street and held the curse words under my breath. The kids were all watching in awe (probably because they couldn't believe I pulled off that awesome trick) and I didn't want to teach them any new four-letter words.

As I made my way to the neighbors' yard I saw blood on my knee, which I was not surprised to see.

What I noticed after that was really interesting.

I'm sure you all think that looks like a piece of bacon ready to cook in a well-seasoned cast iron skillet. Well, you are half right. It is a cast iron skillet but that's the skin from my big toe that I ripped off when I got home to wash the blood off my foot. I swear it did not go into the breakfast tacos I made this morning. That's right. I'm hard core enough to make breakfast tacos the morning after wiping out like Tony Hawk! Here is proof that it is not bacon. You can match up the lines with area missing from here.

So consider this post a Public Service Announcement for all the kids and parents out there. Do not ride your scooter without a helmet, pads, and the correct shoes. And don't ride a Razor scooter if you are over the age of 30. Those things are meant for kids who have a way of bouncing of the pavement much better than we adults can.

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Posted by scott, on 06-14-2008, 1. Ah, blood! : moron :   » Report this Comment to the site administrators » Reply to this Comment...