 Next in the series of Interviews from the Daddyshack is Ed Lamaze. I first met him on the DadStaysHome.com forum and quickly discovered his blog titled Zoë's Dad. Ed has been an at-home dad for over 6 years. Once an ER nurse, he is now bandaging boo-boos full time at home. With five children, two of them twins, he somehow managed to find time to come into the Daddyshack for an interview. Here is what Ed had to say:
Q: Taking on the commitment of an at-home dad is a big
decision. What factors contributed to your family's decision?
- It's really a long story.
I'll be brief. As I nurse I had
the luxury of working 3rd shift. I was
able to stay at home during the day and watch Zoë
and work full time at nights. I dropped
my hours to part time (about 20 hours) after Zane was born. Just before Zia was born I threw in the
towel. It was actually a pretty short
discussion.
 The cost of childcare is
exorbitant these days. I don't know how
families can afford to send one child-there was no way we could send
three. As to who pulled the short
straw? No contest, doctor or nurse. The way I figure it, nurses have been making
doctors look good for years. I'm just
continuing the trend.
Q: What do you think stay-at-home dads do better than
stay-at-home moms?
- Whit took my answer.
So, I've got to go with----SPIT.
I'm also not about to get into any pissing matches with any of the
mothers I know, or don't know for that matter.
Honestly, I believe we all bring pretty significant and individual
strengths to the table and I can't say either one is better or worse.
Q: Where is your favorite spot to go when you have time
without the kids?
- I used to golf....a lot.
Any free time I had I would head to the course. This summer I played only 3 times. I decided no more golf with my free
time. It's supposed to be relaxing and
refreshing but when you don't play often it's just an exercise in humility and
anger management. I don't need either. Now a days I'm as happy as a clam when I can
get 20 uninterrupted minutes of solitude on the toilet!
Q: All five of your children's names start with Z, which is
very cool. Was that planned from the beginning or something your wife and you
decided after the first one?
- Before we got married, my wife and I had chosen the names Zoë
and Zachary. You know how young, crazy
love is when you talk about kids' names and mushy stuff. Well, her sister stole Zachary from us so we
had to regroup. Zane it was. This all before we were even married.
 So when the time came for the first two we
were set. Then there was Zia whom we
thought may be the last and didn't want her to feel left off of the Z
train.More regrouping when we later
found out we were having twins. We definitely couldn't let them be a Dave and a
Clarabell. We started with Z's and were
going to have to end with Z's. Zander
and Zella it was. All of the kids have
a middle name associated with grandparents or family so that is cool. And we also left out a Z family name. My grandmother was Zula.
Q: You became a SAHD almost seven years ago but just
starting blogging about it earlier this year. What inspired you to finally get
your words out to the masses?
- Ha! The Masses. Adding you to the list I think I am up
to...let me see now---2 casual readers.
One is my wife whom I ask to read for editorial purposes. It's subterfuge, I know, but at least that
way I get to count her as a reader.
Honestly, I don't feel that I've got anything to say and anyone who has
ever read my blog would certainly have to agree with that. I guess I just needed some sort of release,
a way of expressing my feelings, emotions and thoughts about the mundane stuff
that happens every day in my life. My
handwriting sucks so a journal was out.
Q: If you were not an at-home dad, what would you be doing
right now?
- Do I have to be married in this hypothetical scenario? That would have a lot of bearing on my
answer. Truth be told, I can not think
of anything I would rather be doing. I
consider myself a very lucky man.
Q: Our wives expect us to keep the house in somewhat of a
non-chaotic state. I actually don't mind vacuuming or doing dishes but laundry
is not my favorite. What chore do you abhor the most?
- Dude! At the very
core of my being I am a slob! I used to
think that the black stuff growing around the rim of the bathtub was because I
had hard water. How could a shower
possibly be dirty? The only thing I put
in there is soap and water-- Cleaning agents!
I loathe anything that involves cleaning.
Q: What are some of your favorite reactions from people when
they see you in public with five kids in tow?
- I still haven't got a good answer to "my, you've got your
hands full". If you can think of one
for me, please let me know. The other
question that just dumbfounds me is "are they all yours?". Are you kidding me? Who asks that? If they weren't do you really think I would
be dragging these screaming monsters everywhere I go? Zoë and I play a great game
when we're grocery shopping. I call
it---Is That Your Mommy, Little Girl? We'll wait for people to pass by and I'll ask her just loud enough to be
heard-"OK little girl, is that your
mommy?" The shocked looks on people's faces are priceless. Good times.
Q: If you could play a professional sport, which would it be
and why?
- Golf. It's such a
deceptive sport. Really. What other sport can you name that you can
actually step onto the exact playing field as the pros and shoot a par or even
a bogey on #16? The same hole you
watched three other guys on television the day before take a double or triple
because they put it in the drink.
Q: With the exception of your wife, who was the last person
you had an adult conversation with, and what was it about?
- I remember exactly what I said. "I'm sorry, you just can't go down to the creek. It's not safe especially if the twins happen
to follow you down there." Wait, that
was with Zoë. She's only 6 but she thinks she's an
adult. I have very brief conversations
with the other moms at school and various soccer and swim practices but they
are usually about kids and very superficial.
Q: What is the biggest misconception people have about you?
- People think I'm a hippie.
I don't get it. OK. So I wear my
own tye dyed shirts, my favorite shoes are a pair of Birkenstock sandals and
I'm growing my hair out. But.....I drive
a Grand Caravan, I don't recycle and petruli oil makes me sneeze
uncontrollably. I know I'm guilty of
it, too but man, stereotypes suck!
Q: What is your favorite kids show on television?
- I've gotta go with The Upside Down Show on Noggin. Freaking hilarious! I don't think the kids actually get it but
they enjoy watching me laugh. We
actually had a TV moratorium recently and seldom turn the TV on during the
day. One show I'll let the kids watch
just about anytime though is Little Einsteins.
Q: What peculiar habits does your significant other have?
- I believe I stated in answer to an earlier question that she
is my only regular reader. I'm gonna have
to take a pass on this one. Sorry.
Q: What peculiar habits do YOU have, then?
-
You ever read those diatribes where people are bemoaning the
fact that there are people in this world who actually believe that the inside
of their car acts as an invisibility cloak that allows them to pick their noses
completely unseen by the rest of the world?
I'm the person these people are ranting about.
Q: If your life was turned into a movie, which actor would
play you?
- Oh, man. I couldn't
even begin to name someone. I fear it
would be some poor has-been whose agent said to him, "Look. Iron a shirt---scratch that, just get over
here. I got you this great part. There's no money in it, fact is you pay them
for the role but at least you're acting again, sort of. Best part is you won't need to work out for
the role, hell you don't even have to sober up. Dude, you need this!" (I'm kidding. I actually have
been smoke free for over a year now and just this month observed a full year of
sobriety---two things I am very proud of.
Still, it really wouldn't be necessary for the actor to get in shape for
the role. My wife says Owen Wilson
minus the nose and of course the neurotic, suicidal self loathing. Oh, and Steve Zahn would probably do a good
job.)
Q: If you were trapped on a deserted island, what three
things would you need to survive?
Q: Do you have a philosophy to live by?
- When I was a senior in college I broke up with my high
school sweetheart. It wasn't
pretty. I drove to my best friend's
apartment who was attending another college 30 miles away and spent the better
part of two hours bearing my soul to him.
I was pretty torn up and went deep.
Really deep. Cathartic
deep. He sat there the whole time just
listening to me. When I finally
finished he looked at me and said, "Ed, don't be bummed." Most profound and relevant thing anyone has
ever said to me. I've tried to make
that my credo ever since.
Q: It's been stated that everyone in the world should have
their own theme song. What would be the theme song for your life?
- This one should be, as my wife would say, a softball. I can't think of a single song so I'm going
to have to go with a genre.
Zydeco. You absolutely can not
listen to zydeco music and not get happy.
I dare anyone to try. I suppose
that's how I'd like it to be when people think of me---a little smile starts to
form quickly turning into full blown, tooth baring grin replete with toe
tapping.
Q: Who would win in a fist-fight: Steve Martin (Cheaper by
the Dozen) or Gary Cole (The Brady Bunch Movie)?
- "Whatchu talkin bout?"
Steve, hands down. Oh,
wait. You said Cole not Coleman.
Q: What words of wisdom did your father share with you? Was
it good advice?
- My father died when I was two years old. So I'll have to go with the wisdom of my
mother who raised 3 boys on her own.
"If it's free.....take two." I'm
kidding. My mother taught me more by
her totally selfless lifestyle and incredible work ethic than any words ever
could or will. She's a saint and I love
her dearly.
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