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Have you had your vote pledged for you yet? You may have and just not know it. I know the election is a year away, and nobody with anything going on in their lives gives a rat's ass about how Iowa or New Hampshire is going to vote, despite the nine million articles about it in the newspapers. How did it come to the point that two teeny and - I hate to be caustic, but I must - completely irrelevant states get to vote first anyway?

Most Americans can't find New Hampshire on a map. I daresay that most New Hampshirites can't find it on a map, and there's a reason for that - it's dinky! And Iowa? It's one of those "somewhere in the middle" states. Maybe it's next to the Dakotas and then again, maybe it isn't. Its population is what - 17 farmers? 117? Does it matter? Because really, who cares who Iowa and New Hampshire likes? Here's a news flash: the majority of Americans - I hope you're sitting down for this - don't live in Iowa or New Hampshire (which a secretary I once knew consistently called "New Hampster," which I'm sure she believed was right next to the great states of New Guinea Pig and New Bunny).

But Iowa and New Hampshire are in danger of being upstaged by the onslaught of endorsements that have already been announced. It seems like everybody is getting into the political endorsement game. The Steelworkers like Edwards, the Machinists and Aerospace Workers back Hillary, while the Bad Geezer Actors of America will no doubt throw their vote(s) behind Fred Thompson. But it is Obama who has scored The Lady of the Single Letter. O likes O. Oprah Winfrey pronounced her preference for Obama, making all the other Democratic candidates moan Oh-Oh.

But what does a Big-O endorsement mean? Whose fealty has just been pledged? Getting the thumb's-up from a group used to mean that an identifiable number of real people would slog to the polls on Election Day and punch a hanging chad for Guy or Gal X. (In the case of Chicago, they wouldn't even have to leave the comfort of their grave to cast their vote.)

But a star bestowing her glittering gaze upon you is another thing altogether. And in the case of the Divine Ms. O, it's not just a star who has anointed Obama, it's a media empire. More than 2.6 million people get O, The Oprah Magazine, and 15-20 million watch the Oprah Winfrey show on TV every day. While Obama is no doubt delighted to think that Oprah will be writing out checks with many, many zeros to his campaign, isn't he also thinking that her endorsement will prompt her viewers and readers to decide to support him, too?

In fact, isn't Oprah's endorsement an implicit delivery of her millions of fans?

And if that's the case, have we handed over authority over our votes to our favorite commercial enterprises? When we buy an O Magazine at the newsstand, should we ask for our vote back along with our change? Is the act of clicking on the TV to watch Oprah a political statement?

Millions of Oprah talk-show watchers and Oprah Magazine readers are now expected to rise from their davenports and march in lockstep to the polls to make sure the election goes to The Anointed Guy. We don't know who these readers and watchers are, where they live, or even if they're registered to vote but by God, watch out: Oprah's masses are standing, or perhaps reclining - we don't know, we can't see them - for Obama.

Welcome to the age of the virtual supporter. If the Oprah empire can endorse a candidate, other pillars of commerce can't be far behind. The big question has now become: who will Starbucks go for?

Starbucks has more than 12,000 stores world-wide, with new ones popping up daily, if not minute-ly. That's about a bazillion customers, give or take. So what if Starbucks comes down on the side of John Edwards? Oprah's viewers would be eclipsed by the hordes flocking to the polls clutching no-whip, skinny caramel iced frappacinos intent on checking the Edwards box if their over-caffeinated shaking hands can manage it.

But what if the Oprah supporter also drinks Starbucks? Split loyalties in the virtual voting world!Who do you let promise your vote for you: the woman, or the drink, you adore? Oprah pledged your vote first, so perhaps you go with her but golly, Starbucks is another favorite friend and if it swore that its drinkers were Edwards-backers, well... you might have to reconsider.

What happens if other commercial enterprises get into the candidate endorsement game? What if 7-11 decides that Rudy Giuliani is their guy? Now it's a war between Slurpee and cappacino drinkers. What if you buy your Oprah magazine at the 7-11? Does that mean your virtual vote for Obama is cancelled out by buying a magazine at a virtual Giuliani outpost?

And what about Target - what if it swings to Hillary? Some of their stores have Starbucks kiosks and Slurpee machines, and they all have magazine stands. What's an Oprah magazine reading, cappacino quaffing, occasional Slurpee slurper and loyal Target shopper supposed to do? Their virtual vote will have been split up more times than a Hollywood marriage.

It's getting to the point where consumers have to put their foot down and claim their vote as their own to give or to withhold. Unless, of course, that foot is wearing Nike shoes and Nike goes for McCain...

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