I'm a proud liberal from a liberal town and I'm all for
campaigns that bring awareness to causes that I believe are important. But
sometimes the things people do to bring awareness to these causes are just too
ridiculous, or even too stupid, for comprehension. According to an article on news.yahoo.com,
"Hundreds of people posed naked on Switzerland's
shrinking Aletsch glacier on Saturday for U.S.
photographer Spencer Tunick as part of a Greenpeace campaign to raise awareness
of global warming." Nearly 600 pasty and scrawny volunteers from all over Europe
were photographed on a rocky outcrop overlooking the glacier. The environmental
group Greenpeace, which organized the shoot, said the aim was to
"establish a symbolic relationship between the vulnerability of the melting
glacier and the human body." The photographer said his photographs were
both works of art and political statements. "I will try to treat the body
on two levels. On an abstract level, as if they were flowers or stones. And on
a more social level, to represent their vulnerability and humanity with regard
to nature and the city and to remind people where we come from." Naked
people come from glaciers? I did not know that. Question: are you now concerned
about glaciers or are you thinking of weirdos hanging out on the ice in their
birthday suits? Sorry glaciers but you are doomed.
My wife loves animals. We now have two cats and a dog that
have claimed us as their owners and use our house as their personal toilet. And
now my wife wants a Chihuahua.
What's a loving husband to do? I know one thing is for sure, camels are
definitely off limits in my house. According to an article on news.com.au,
"A WOMAN, 60, has been killed by a pet camel that was given to her as a
birthday present." Police said the camel had knocked her over, stomped on
her and then lay down on top of her while the woman was feeding other animals.
Detective Senior Sergeant Craig Gregory explained that the camel was a 60th
birthday present from the woman's husband and daughter, who claimed that the
woman had a love for exotic animals. The family had intended giving the woman a
llama or an alpaca for her birthday, but decided they were too expensive. Why
did the beast kill its owner? ''I'd say it's probably been playing or it may be
even a sexual sort of thing, you wouldn't know,'' said the detective. A sexual
sort of thing? Uh... that is just wrong in every sort of way.
Not sure what's up with the bizarre human deaths by animals
this week. Must be global warming. According to an article
on cnn.com, "A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear
cage of Belgrade Zoo this weekend during the annual beer festival." Now if
that headline isn't perfect for anti-drinking propaganda, then I don't know
what is. The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the
cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding
corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it. "There's a
good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear
cage," said zoo director Vuk Bojovic. Amen brother. Amen. Top five reasons
someone would jump into a bear cage:
- Drank
too much beer at the Belgrade Beer Festival
- Drugged
by hippies at the Belgrade Beer Festival
- Thrown
in the cage by an angry mob at the Belgrade Beer Festival
- Insane
delusions of being Mowgli the Man Cub after drinking too much beer at the
Belgrade Beer Festival
- All
the porta-potties were full at the Belgrade Beer Festival
Men are pretty stupid. As a man, I can admit to the
inherent stupidity that all of my male brethren possess, especially when it
comes to possibly looking at some boobies. According to an article
on app.com, "Male drivers who paid $5 for a topless car wash ended up
getting hosed." There were some sneaky young women who held up signs for a
topless carwash. But hidden behind a big blue tarp, it was shirtless male
firefighters who were washing the cars. Female drivers didn't seem to mind the
shirtless firefighters. Male drivers though, like Mike Matias, felt they were
getting jipped. He was "hugely disappointed when a man soaped up and
rinsed his car." I was disappointed for you, buddy.
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