 We have all told a fib or two, or twenty. Don't lie. You know you have. Lying is a way for the human race to stay out of trouble, land a great job, call in "sick" at said job, maybe get a date, and many other things. Lying is bad and we know it because that is what we tell our children.
"If there is one thing we will not tolerate in this house, it is lying."
That is rule number one around here.[1] We obviously do not want our children to misbehave by throwing rocks at other kids on the playground, pushing each other down, spitting at people, stabbing a blow-up punching toy with scissors, saying "potty" words, shooting at windows with BB guns, or taking things that don't belong to them.[2] If these things do happen and our children are caught, we want them to be honest about it and not practice the art of deceit. Every good parent wants their children to make good decisions.[3]
Fortunately, our son is as honest as the day is long. He knows when he has been bad and will sometimes admit it when nobody was the wiser. He is also getting pretty good at letting us know when his little sister has been bad.
"Dad! She hit me again! She needs to go to time-out!"
"Why did she hit you?"
"Because I hit her first!"
Sometimes being four can make you forget that you could have lied. Now everybody gets a time-out. We reinforce his good behavior of not lying by reminding him that pretty soon his sister will be able to put all of her words together and tell us the truth, too. It will become a battle of "he said/she said" and the best story will win.[4] I'm holding out hope that this will all be avoided by having two loving children that will never cause trouble.[5]
So how do we convince our kids not to lie when it happens all the time in our society and they see others benefit from it? Politicians lie and they get elected to run our governments. Salespeople lie so they can meet their quotas. Pilots lie about being drunk and get to fly our planes (or our Space Shuttles). Well, the best way to explain all of that to our children is to lie.[6] Justify their bad behavior by saying it is for the greater good of humanity, like when I said I really liked my wife's hairdo.[7]
OK, so maybe that's not the best answer. The best answer would be that lying politicians don't always get re-elected once they are caught lying, salespeople lose repeat customers and eventually lose their jobs, drunk pilots get fired if we are lucky, and daddies spend a lot of time sleeping on the couch if they lie to mommies. Above all it is important for children to know they can come to their parents with whatever the situation is and know they are doing right by telling the truth. I should know. My parents caught me lying a few times and I always felt really bad about it.[8] Someday my kids will ask me if I ever told a lie.
"Only once,[9]" I'll tell them. "And it was a very bad decision."
[1] Rule number one is subject to change without notice as the kids get older and start dating.
[2] These things may or may not be a reference to my children or myself as a child.
[3] Being a good liar doesn't qualify as a good decision.
[4] I vaguely remember not winning very many of those battles.
[5] That statement makes my wife double over with laughter.
[6] Not really, you know better than that!
[7] Just kidding, honey. You know I love it.
[8] No, not because I got caught! OK, maybe.
[9] What they don't know won't hurt them!
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Quirkee Voices 
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