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Bowling! Print E-mail
 

Written by Justin Sanders, on 11-20-2008

Views : 151    

ImageWhenever someone asks me to go bowling my first thought is that I'd rather take a Valium, sit in a room, and watch white paint dry. At least that's how I felt up until last Saturday night when some friends of mine dragged me out to chuck a few balls at the local Bowling alley. And while the evening was nothing monumental like a trip to Vegas or witnessing a chick fight, I have to admit, I had a blast.

The night didn't start out that way because the main reason that I've always hated bowling is the fact that I can't wear my own shoes. Maybe I'm a prude, or maybe I'm just a man that doesn't care to bowl or walk a mile in another man's moccasins. I don't care how much antiseptic or 409 you spray in those clown shoes, it's still nasty! But it was my buddy's birthday and he wanted to go bowling and my job tonight, as a man, was to soldier up and have a good time. So when the tattooed attendant handed me my size nine loaners I just smiled and grimly nodded my head in thanks. It didn't matter that the last guy that wore these probably didn't wear socks and had an extra toe on each foot, tonight was about having fun.

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Texas Tech Shocks the World! Print E-mail
 

Written by Justin Sanders, on 11-05-2008

Views : 340    

ImageAfter defeating the number one ranked Texas Longhorns the Texas Tech Red Raiders have moved all the way up to the second ranking in the Bowl Championship Series! In one of the most exciting games of the year the number 8 ranked Red Raiders and the number 1 ranked Texas Longhorns traded blows in a game that even though it only had two lead changes feature numerous plays that swung the momentum back in forth for 60 electrifying minutes. So without further ado here is my recount of the greatest game of the year... so far!

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Big Trouble in Big D Print E-mail
 

Written by Justin Sanders, on 10-17-2008

Views : 468    

ImageIt was a wild week for the Cowboys, to say the least. It started on Sunday with an overtime loss to the Arizona Cardinals, but that was only the beginning. What came next was a perfect storm of injuries that was capped off with the loss of Pro Bowl Quarterback Tony Romo. Having broken his pinky on the second to last play of the game, Tony will be out for the next four weeks of the season. As if that wasn't enough, the news on Tuesday was that, along with all the injuries the team had suffered, the Cowboys were also losing Adam "Make it Rain" Jones to a four-game suspension for a drunken brawl that took place the previous week. What had started out as a potentially Super Bowl season was quickly falling into a possible 6-10 campaign of "What the hells?" and "What ifs." Yet some how, as Dallas teetered on the brink of disaster, hope was renewed by a trade with Detroit for the former University of Texas wide receiver Roy Williams. Sure, the next four weeks will be pure hell, but on the bright side, the team has another weapon for its already lethal offense, once Jessica Romo returns from injury. One minute the sky is falling and doom is knocking on the door, the next minute the sun is shining and Fate is once again smiling down on Texas Stadium. The newspapers eat up this kind of stuff, but for Cowboys fans it's just business as usual at Valley Ranch.

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Your Team Sucks the Big One Print E-mail
 

Written by Justin Sanders, on 09-25-2008

Views : 948    

ImageYour team sucks.  You know how I know this?  Because I cheer for a different team and my opinion is clearly the only opinion in this conversation that matters.  This is what it's like to be locked into a heated battle in the world of internet sports messaging boards. It's like trying to argue with someone who completely disagrees with you and thinks that the only way to get their point across is to raise the volume of their voice.  For three hours, I ranted and raved at complete strangers and even received my first ever "reported violation" for using profanity on a public website. In all, it was the most frustrating and yet exciting three hours that I've ever wasted in my life.

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The Cowboys Print E-mail
 

Written by Justin Sanders, on 09-11-2008

Views : 643    

ImageI found a gray hair on Sunday morning and my first thought was, "Crap!  It must be football season."  I'm not that old, but no other team for that matter nothing in my life other than my wife, can get me as worked up as the Dallas Cowboys.  For more than thirty years I've cheered for this team, through thick and thin, taking every loss like the death of a pet and blowing up every victory like a proud parent looking at a report card filled with A's.  I know it's just a game, my wife reminds me of that every time the Cowboys lose, but for me it's the only game in town.  So as the Boys kicked off the season this past Sunday, against the Cleveland Browns, I had to smile as I prepared myself for another roller coaster ride that would end either in Super Bowl glory or the oblivion of another first round playoff exit. 

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Longhorn Time Print E-mail
 

Written by Justin Sanders, on 08-28-2008

Views : 661    

ImageAs the Texas Longhorns gear up for this Saturday's home opener do not be fooled by the unfamiliar name of their opponent.  Florida Atlantic is a legitimate opponent, who is favored to win the Sun Belt Conference, and the Horns will need to do more than just show up if they're going to win on Saturday.  Gone are the days of the Longhorn's opening up against teams slightly more talented than Westlake High School.  As last year's 35-32 victory over the then unknown, University of Central Florida, in the Home Opener proved, there just aren't that many "gimme" games left in the NCAA.  If you don't believe me just ask a University of Michigan fan how they felt after the fifth ranked Wolverines were shocked at home by Appalachian State 34-32?  What's worse is that not only did they lose the game but rival Ohio State fans went out and started buying Appalachian State T-shirts just so that they could rub it in a little more when the two teams met at the end of the season.  So like Billy Dee used to say on the Schlitz malt liquor commercials, "Don't let the smooth taste fool ya," because the Owls are for real and the Horns are in for a game this coming Saturday.

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Roller Derby! Print E-mail
 

Written by Justin Sanders, on 08-14-2008

Views : 778    

ImageWhen my buddy asked me if I wanted to go to the Roller Derby, my first thought was of an old Charlie's Angels rerun where the girls go undercover at a corrupt roller-rink. That was always one of my favorite episodes, so I was excited to finally get the chance to see real Angels duking it out in person. Of course, what I actually witnessed at the Austin Convention Center was nothing like what I had seen on TV. On TV, Farrah Fawcett kicked ass on the track and solved a murder to boot; in real life, the Roller Derby is more like a burlesque show on wheels. I knew I was in for an interesting evening when I saw a priest, a cowboy and a tattooed boob before I even entered the Convention Center. And it didn't stop there.

"Dixie, you look like a slut!" came the high-pitched squeal from across the courtyard. "I am one," the Roller Derby's "Penalty Mistress" replied as she lit her cigarette and greeted her friend with a hug.

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The Wrigley Field Experience Print E-mail
 

Written by Justin Sanders, on 07-31-2008

Views : 857    

ImageWhen it comes to baseball, I cheer for three teams: the Texas Rangers, the Houston Astros and whoever is playing the New York Yankees... ba da bump bump. I'm kidding; the team I cheer for when the Astros and Rangers have fallen out of contention is the Chicago Cubs. The poor Cubs fans have suffered through 99 years without a World Series title, survived countless heartbreaks including losing the 1945 World Series and being 5 outs away from another trip in 2003, but that's not why I cheer for them. No, the reason that I cheer for the Cubs harkens back to a hot summer day in Chicago almost five years ago. It was the day of my first and only trip to Wrigley Field and as it turned out it was also one of the best sports experiences of my entire life.

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ESPY Awards Print E-mail
 

Written by Justin Sanders, on 07-17-2008

Views : 808    

ImageEvery year American viewers are overloaded with award shows for everything from music to video games, which is why I personally think we could do without the ESPYs. ESPN's award show for athletes is kind of redundant when you realize that most sports already give out awards of their own called championships and compared to them winning an ESPY is like winning an MTV movie award. Sure it's nice to be recognized by the fans, but which award do you think Tom Brady wants resting on his mantle, the ESPY for the NFL's Best Player or the Super Bowl MVP trophy? I can hear his acceptance speech now, "You know, even though we choked in the Super Bowl and blew the chance for a perfect season, this ESPY makes all that hard work worth it." It's nice, but as I've said before, in the real world the only things that matter are championships.

Of course, no ESPY conversation would be complete without mentioning the horrifying awkwardness of a red-carpet filled with sports stars. It's like a parade of 12‑button suits and muscular women wobbling around on six-inch heels. Seriously, next year couldn't we recruit some drag queens from Off Broadway to teach the WNBA stars how to walk in heels? Not that I'm giving the men a free pass either - the outfits they wear are usually so bad they either look like an extra in an R. Kelly video or a miserable 5th grader on class picture day. Personally, I think next year ESPN should just embrace the brutality of the scene and get Joan Rivers and Alexis Arquette to do the red carpet commentary.

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Fight Night Print E-mail
 

Written by Justin Sanders, on 06-26-2008

Views : 896    

ImageLast Saturday night I gathered up a group of my friends and headed down to the Frank Erwin Center (FEC) to see Richard Lord's latest group of spirited boxers duke in out in front of what could only be described as a raucous crowd. Now I've never been to Vegas for a big fight, but after attending last Saturday's fights I can only hope that someday Quirkee will pony up the money to send me to the City of Sin for a weekend of testosterone and debauchery. What follows is the blow-by-blow tale of Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight Night at the Frank Erwin Centerrrrrrrrrrrr!

After pre-funking at my buddy's house with Jack Daniels and Pizza, the Gang and I entered the FEC ready to party, but were quickly brought back to earth by the $6 beers at the concession stand. I mean $6, really? If we were seeing Cotto vs. De La Hoya, I'd understand the need to take out a loan for a round of beers, but when most of the fighters on the card still had day jobs I think the crowd would've been better served with dollar-beer night and free nachos. Luckily though, thanks to Sinatra's drink of choice, we were already buzzed and weren't to be deterred by expensive crappy beer.

*I've left out the names of the fighters in the first seven fights in order to save the losing fighters from any ribbing that they might receive from their co-workers.

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